Feedback from peers

Today in class we watched all of our rough edits. I thought that most of them were great, but they all had little areas that need dot be fixed, as did mine. We had to write what we liked about each persons rough edit, what we didn't like, and if it made sense. This is the feedback I received:

name: Bella Paton

like: the music, the shots all make sense, theme is clear

dislike: Maybe you have too many shots of knives, maybe even put some “blood” on them to give a reason for cleaning them. Or maybe even rather than cleaning them under the sink they can use a cloth that gets bloodier and bloodier each time!

made sense: yes, perfect sense

notes: you can make the exposure darker to emphasise the theme

name: Bella

things needing improvement: scenes were too long

things they did well: gender reversal, was really surprised at the end

made sense: it was clear

Bella

-          Good use of music

-          Good use of shots

-          Good use of angles

-          Smooth transitions

-          Use of lighting

-          Horrifying

-          Change the background of the garage … maybe…

like: the shots of the knifes changing, shots of crossing names off list

dislike: the shots in the car

made sense: yes

Like: The ending when Michelle smiles, changes the whole story with how you think it’s serious then changes.

Didn’t like: Too many shots of the knives could half it. 

Made sense: Yes/No – flowed well but a few blurry shots that could be better if they were clear.

name: Bella

like: I liked the quick shots when washing knifes. Really good, clear shots. Good use of props (especially the list crossed out) Mis En Cene was used really effectively.

dislike: You could see that your mum was breathing when she was supposed to be dead (great acting on her behalf though!) and also when michelle was 'driving' the steering wheel was the wrong way around so it was unrealistic. Maybe just refill that briefly. 

made sense: The gender swap and genre, everything flowed well, good job

Angle: High angle to show that character being hung is powerless.

Shot: Mid shot to show victim and killer in moderate detail but not too much detail yet as this is the first shot.

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

Angle: High angle to show that character being hung is powerless.

Shot: Close up to show victim in more detail.

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

Angle: Straight on to show exactly whats happening.

Shot: Mid shot to get both the victim and killers shoes walking away, in moderate detail, in this shot.

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

Angle: Straight on to show the paper accurately and in detail.

Shot: Close up so the viewer can clearly see the names ages and locates on the list and get the message that this is the killers 'kill list'.

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

Angle: High angle to make the viewer feel as if they were in the position of the killer and washing the knives. 

Shot: Close up shot to show the knife cleaning in detail. 

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

Angle: High angle to make the viewer feel as if they were in the position of the killer and washing the knives. 

Shot: Mid shot as it cuts form the close up to the mid shot and disorients the viewer. 

Lighting: Eerie shadowy and creepy.

(These two knife shots happen many times with different knives to give the viewer the understanding that, although the killer only used one knife to kill their victim they are obsessive and need to have their weapons clean and wash them repeatedly. The reason these shots are meant to feel disorienting is because the killer is in a heightened state of reality and is not thinking clearly and is disorientated.)

Angle: High angle to make the viewer feel as if they are seeing things from the killers perspective. 

Shot: Mid shot to show the knives in moderate detail.

uts form the close up to the mid shot and disorients the viewer. 

Lighting: Eerie, shadowy and creepy.

Angle: Straight on and slightly canted to show that the killer is insane, and to make it look as if the viewer was watching from a victims point of view from the floor. 

Midshot: To show this scene in moderate detail.

Lighting: Eerie, shadowy and creepy.

Angle: Straight on as if to make the audience view this from the killers perspective. 

Shot: Close up to make the audience feel like they are viewing this from the killers perspective. 

Lighting: Eerie, shadowy and creepy.

Angle: High angle to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Shot: Close up to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Lighting: Dark and creepy. 

Angle straight on to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Shot: Close up to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Lighting: Dark and creepy. 

Angle straight on to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Shot: Close up to make it seem as if the viewer is looking at the car from the killers perspective.

Lighting: Dark and creepy. 

Angle: Straight on to show the viewers the mirror clearly and accurately as this is the big reveal of the character.

Shot: Close up to show what the killer looks like in detail.

Lighting: Brighter to symbolise that light has been shed on this enigma of the killer. 

Feedback for my rough edit

Today I got some feedback for my film. I was told that use of dollying over the characters murder weapons might be very effective and look pretty cool, it will give an indication that a murder is about to happen without actually showing the murder itself happening, as the film is meant to have a PG rating. I was also told that graphic matches may be effective in my film, for example there could be a shot of a car pulling out followed by a shot of a murder weapon being pulled out. This may look creative and cool.

Music for FTVNM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxOsPYRXD14

I went in search for some royalty free music today for my horror film trailer. This music that I found is really ambient and really eerie. It makes the listener (or me) feel really uncomfortable. I think it will really work for my rough edit.

due dates

Today in FTV we finished off our pre production information. I think that doing a pre production step is essential in making a short trailer as everything should be planned so you know what you are doing. Im not going to be in class tomorrow because of  drama excursion and we don't have class on Wednesday, but on Thursday, I will bing my costumes for Minnie to wear, who is playing the killer, and film then. Then after school Im going to her house to film some more. I should easily have my rough edit finished by Friday.

storyboard

Im sorry you can't see the drawings It didn't upload I will upload them individually.

Production Title:	Page     of    . Director:
		Shot Type:Mid shot. Camera Position/Movement: straight on, no movement. Action/Dialogue/Detail: Character is bing strangled by a killer. Notes: Lighting is dark and mysterious.
		Shot Type: Close up. Camera Position/Movement: Straight, no movement. Action/Dialogue/Detail: Character pulls a knife out of a case full of different sized knives. Notes: Lighting is dark and mysterious.
		Shot Type:Close up. Camera Position/Movement:High angle, no movement. Action/Dialogue/Detail: A knife is being washed in the sink.  Notes: Lighting is bright and stark.
		Shot Type:Extreme close up Camera Position/Movement:Low angle, straight on angle. Action/Dialogue/Detail: A knife is being washed in the sink.  Notes: Lighting is bright and stark.

Production Title:	Page     of    . Director:
		Shot Type: mid shot.  Camera Position/Movement: High, no movement. Action/Dialogue/Detail: Knife is being wiped down.  Notes: Stark and bright.
		Shot Type: Close up. Camera Position/Movement: High angle, no movement.  Action/Dialogue/Detail: Killer looks at their watch.  Notes: Stark and bright.
		Shot Type: Mid shot.  Camera Position/Movement: Straight on angle, no movement. Action/Dialogue/Detail: Killer walks into the car and slams the door.  Notes: Lighting is dim and patchy.
		Shot Type: Close up.  Camera Position/Movement: High angle no movement.  Action/Dialogue/Detail: Killer crosses a name off a notebook. Notes: Light is dim and patchy.
		Production Title: Page     of    . Director:  Shot Type: Long shot.  Camera Position/Movement: Low angle, no movement.  Action/Dialogue/Detail: Car pulls out of garage.  Notes: Lighting is bright.  Shot Type: Close up.  Camera Position/Movement: Straight on angle, no movement.  Action/Dialogue/Detail: Killer flicks mirror down and reveals herself as female. Notes: lighting is dark and patchy.

my character profile

Jacky Jane is a very disturbed young lady. At only 21 she managed to become a doctor and a prestigious hospital in the busiest part of QLD where she has lived all her life. As a girl she was very successful at her prestigious private school, receiving dux of the school at the end of every year, and being very popular among her classmates. She came across to all her friends as positive and friendly while at home, her parents constantly criticised her, causing her to hate herself. Overtime she managed to mask her self hate with lots of anger that she directed against her friends, family and anyone she was close with, as a coping mechanism to deal with her own self hatred. She became impossible to be around and her friends all left her causing her anger to geo even more. She developed an inflated sense of self esteem that deeply concealed her self hate. At her work she began to swap patients medications and blood samples causing havoc at the hospital and causing her dismissal. This just made her anger greater. Her life goals changed from being a doctor to wanting to murder. She wants to be the number one most feared murderer in the world. She is extremely smart, has very quick reflexes, plans all her murders down to the last detail and has exceptionally clean and organised murder equipment as it drives her crazy when it is dirty. She hates being disorganised, being wrong and especially, failing to kill someone she planned to murder. This would very much, embarrass her. She plans to murder everyone who she had an association with at school, thinking it will cause her deep anger to stop. Deep down she is repulsed by her actions of killing her old friends and associations but doesn't quite consciously realises this. Her greatest quality is her quick wit, extreme intelligence, skills with a knife and coordination. Her worst quality is the fact that she is a psychotic person. She wears completely covered up black clothing, as it allows her to blend into shadows. She has brownish hair, grey eyes, clear pale skin and strong eyebrows. She is very beautiful and can convince, anyone who doesn't know her, that she is a good person. Once she is convinced that she has to murder someone, nothing can change her mind. 

Costuming

Since the surprise ending of my film will show my killer character looking in her rear view mirror (and reveal that she is a female) I need to have her wear something that does not reveal that she is a female. Im thinking a big thick black jumper, shirt or coat, black pants, masculine looking shoes and a big chunky watch. These are all very masculine clothes. I was also thinking of making her wear very feminine makeup, just to add to the surprise that she is female at the end. For her makeup I was thinking doing basic black eyeliner on the lower lash line with a cat wing coming out from her top lash line, ltd of mascara, and pink or red lipstick. Also since my friend Minnie, who is playing the killer, can do pretty convincing special effects makeup, I wanted to make the killer look like she had a black eye from being in a fight, to show that she can fight physically, and have a few scratches.

Production schedule

Due day	Set/description	Cast	Location
24/2/15	Scene 1, Dusty backyard with large tree, Killer kills victim through suffocation and stabs them to make sure that they are really dead.	Minnie	My backyard, dusty dirty, empty and barren, large tree growing from the ground.
26/2/15	Scene 2, Large kitchen at the sink with a knife, Killer is washing the blood off a knife.	Minnie	My Kitchen, Big, white clean and tidy, large sink.
27/2/15	Scene 3, Garage with a car inside, Killer steps into her car, adjusts the mirror, pulls out a notebook in which she keeps her kill list, and crosses off a name, she then turns on the car.	Minnie	My garage, is large and fairy empty with a fridge pushed up against the back wall, the car is small and dark grey with greyish seats.
27/2/15	Scene 4, Inside my car and outside on my driveway, Killer pulls out of the drive way, she adjusts the mirror, flicking it down to check her reflection, it is revealed that she is a female.	Minnie	My driveway is covered in orange brick with green plants lining the outside, car is small and dark grey with greyish seats.

Props list

Production Title: Props Master:		Scene   to   . Director:
Scene # Name	Characters Required	Props/Costumes Required
Scene 1: The stabbing	Killer - Minnie Victim - Libby	Black jacket and pants, big black watch, black shoes Every day clothes for Libby Knife Organised case full of knives
Scene 2: Washing the knife	Killer - Minnie	Knife Black jacket and pants, big black watch, black shoes
Scene 3: Into the car	Killer - Minnie	Black jacket and pants, big, black shoes, black watch Knife Towel Notebook  Pen Car Car keys Rear view mirror
Scene 4: The reveal	Killer - Minnie	Black jacket and pants, big, black shoes, black watch Rearview mirror Steering wheel

My shot list

	Shot List
	Production Title:							Shoot Date:
Shot No.	Shot Name	Scene No.	Location	Shot		Movement	Description of Action	Characters	Lighting Notes
				Type	Angle	Type
	kill 1	1	outside my house	mid shot	straight	none	character has her hands around another characters throat	minnie	lighting is dark and mysterious
	kill 2	1	outside my house	mishot	straight	none	character dying falls to the floor	minnie	lighting is dark and mysterious
	knife out	1	outside my house	close up	straight	none	character pulling a knife out of a selection of knives from a briefcase	minnie	lighting is dark and mysterious
	walking away	1	outside my house	mid shot	straight	none	killer walks away, shot of their masculine boots	minnie	lighting is dark and mysterious
1	bloody knife 1	2	My kitchen	close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
2	bloody knife 2	2	my kitchen	close up	low	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
3	bloody knife 3	2	my kitchen	close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
4	bloody knife 4	2	my kitchen	extreme close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
5	bloody knife 5	2	My kitchen	close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
6	bloody knife 6	2	my kitchen	close up	low	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
7	bloody knife 7	2	my kitchen	close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
8	bloody knife 8	2	my kitchen	extreme close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
9	bloody knife 9	2	My kitchen	close up	high	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
10	bloody knife 10	2	My kitchen	extreme close up	low	none	A knife is being cleaned in the sink	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
11	knife is clean	3	my kitchen	close up	high	none	The knife is being wiped down	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
12	slotted back	3	My kitchen	close up	straight on	none	The knife is being slotted back into place in neatly organised knife rack	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
13	watch check	3	my kitchen	close up	high	none	character checks very masculine looking watch	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
14	walking	3	my kitchen	close up	low	none	Shot of man like boots walking along the ground	minnie	lighting is bright and stark
15	car	3	the garage	mid shot	straight	none	killer walks into car and slams the door	minnie	lighting is dim and patchy
16	notebook	3	the car	close up	high	none	killer picks up a notebook and crosses a name of their kill list	minnie	lighting is dim and patchy
17	engine	3	the car	close up	straight	none	killer flicks keys and turns on car	minnie	lighting is dim and patchy
18	mirror	3	the car	close up	straight	none	Character adjusts mirror	minnie	lighting is dim and patchy
19	pulling out	4	the car	long shot	low	none	Car pulls out of garage	minnie	lighting is bright
20	hands on wheel	4	the car	close up	straight on	none	killer has her hands on the wheel	minnie	lighting is dark and patchy
21	mirror flick	4	the car	close up	straight on	none	killer flicks mirror down to face her, it is revealed she is female	minnie	lighting is dark and patchy