My treatment for the hero's journey trailer

A car is screaming down the road, two girls inside are laughing one named Jinx one named Annabelle. They are trying to find a radio station that they like, and are laughing at all the bad radio stations. The two girls are play fighting and when Jinx turns back to the wheel she looks terrified. The screen goes black crashing, glass breaking and screaming noises are heard. Jinx looks around her shocked, and sees her best friend slumped over dead next to her. Her hands immediately start shaking and she feels extreme adrenaline, she places her hands on her friends arm and her friend jolts back to life. The two girls stare at each other in fear not really understanding what has just happened. Jinx walks into her home horrified to find her little sister lying dead in the entry way. Death, all dressed in black watches her from the shadows and approaches her slowly. The scene cuts away to Jinx finding a friend lying dead in the bathrooms at school and trying to wake her up. The scene cuts again to Jinx and a friend playing piano, her friend slumps over and dies and Jinx tries to awaken her looking scared and horrified. The scene cuts to Jinx in her room reading a note stuck to her lamp that reads ‘You brought your friend back and you cant do the same for all the others?’ it is from death who is angry at Jinx for bringing her friend back as he can not take her till she dies naturally. Jinx walks to her mirror and is confronted by Death who is standing behind her. The scene cuts to a shot of Jinx thrashing around in her bed. The scene cuts to Jinx’s dream she and death are facing off against each other and Death is winning. The scene cuts to Jinx sitting with her friend in an empty classroom, trying to stay awake so she does not have to experience these dreams, her friend tells her she will make sure she is safe while she sleeps. The scene cuts to Jinx about to fall asleep, her friend is looking very concerned. The next sequence of shots cuts between Jinx thrashing around in bed and facing off with death, after a battle Jinx is stabbed by Death. The friend notices her hands shaking and grabs Jinx’s arm resurrecting her. Jinx sits up looking scared and shaken. The scene cuts away to Death left standing at the battle ground looking furious. The scene cuts away to Jinx looking relieved and thanking her friend now that death cannot take her until she dies naturally.