Today I got some feedback for my treatment and there is a bit of an issue. My synopsis is in dot points. That is definitely an issue as it does not rad like an actual documentary synopsis and it is quite disjointed when reading, as it is a dot point list. I was told to re write it as more of a paragraph.

Heres what I had.

Synopsis

• Black screen 
• White words appear: Facebook Danger. Audio behind this can be heard: “Five new Facebook profiles are created every second.”

• A Facebook profile can be seen on a computer screen it is being scrolled through.

• Shot of Facebook activity, Voice over: “There are 83 million fake profiles.” “50 percent of 18 to 24 year olds go on Facebook as soon as they wake up.”

• Shot of Facebook statistics flashing onto screen  Voice over: And if Facebook was a country it would be the third largest in the world. “It is used for business, pleasure and fun but can something so booming and so popular have a downside? Could youth of Australia be apart of Facebook danger?”

First point

• Computer screen can be seen. On it two people are having a conversation over message. voice over says: “Young people feel like Facebook is a friendly and inviting place and often share lots of information. So lets go onto this hypothetical Facebook profile we have created.”

• Screen changes. A hypothetical Facebook profile that will be made for demonstrations in this video appears onscreen. On the Facebook profile images are being opened.  Abby’s voice over: “The statistics are quite interesting. 91% of teenagers share photos of themselves.”

• Abby sits at the computer. Abby says: “Not that shocking as well see it all the time.” 

• Facebook screen is seen. The mouse clicks on details and more information. The hypothetical school name, city and town dress are shown. Voice over: “Now 71% of people post their school name and city and town address, again quite common but getting a bit more dangerous and a bit more personal. 

• Abby is shown sitting at her computer desk. “And I have access to it.”

• Shot of a mouse clicking on contact information appears on the screen. Voice over: “Now with 53% posting their personal email I suddenly have a way of communicating with the person.” 

• Abby sits typing at her computer address. 

• Shot of the computer screen. Abby copies the email from Facebook and opens a new email pasting it into it.

• Abby sits at the desk looking at the computer. She then turns back to the camera. Abby dialogue: “As well as this 20% of teens post their phone number online. You may not think this is a large statistic but 5 new profiles are added every second. That is a huge number of teens posting something as personal as their phone number online. And the scariest thing about phone numbers is how easy it is to get a home address from them. So lets see what we can do.”  Abby turns back to the screen.

• The screen is shown Abby clicks on contact information and highlights the phone number on the hypothetical profile. “Lets just say this person has put up their phone number, I can go straight to websites like Reverse Australia and do this.” Abby pastes the phone number in and presses search. Details and house dress come up. “And now I have access to this persons home address.” 

• Abby walks down a street. Voice over: “The problem with this is how easily accessible your information is to online predators.” 

• Abby passes a house number. Voiceover: “And the danger is much more real-“

• Abby continues walking down the street “-than young people these days realise.”  

• Abby walks up to a sign that says 27. “And now I have found the house from just the phone number. A predator can do this just as easily.”

• Shot of a conversation happening over a computer screen on Facebook. Abby voice over: “This seriously impacts our Australian youth as they are often nieeve as to who they are communicating with believing that despite the fact they do not know the person, because their profile seems real the person probably is.”

• Shot of a teen smiling and typing on their laptop. “Its easy for young people to be lured in by predators and therefore this leads to an increase in sexual assault rape and murder. This can have a seriously scarring impact on youth of today.” 

• Shot of Facebook chat on screen again. Abby’s voice over: “Did you know that since 2009 sexual assault reports have increased from 139 to 614 and half those cases have involved youth under 16?” 

• A teen is smiling and typing on their laptop. Voiceover: “That is a big impact that this is having on youth of today. How safe are the people you talk to? and do you really know them?” 

• Abby is standing in a popular shopping centre. Abby: “Well I wanted to find that question out exactly so I decided to ask some random members of Australian youth.” 

• Abby asks the question to several people “Do you know all your friends on Facebook?” and the replies are recorded. 

Second Point

• A screen is seen and a Facebook account is shown. Someone is typing into the status. Voice over: “Another issue that is impacting the Australian youth of today is the hacking of their Facebook accounts. Yet another reason to get rid of Facebook.”

• Shot of two teens talking over a laptop voice over: “Did you know that 30% of teens today share their password with a friend and girls are twice as likely to do this as boys.” 

• Shot of a screen on Facebook someone is unable to get into their account. Voice over: “That means that if ever something happens between you and the person you shared the information with they have the power to destroy your reputation.”

• Abby is sitting at her laptop. “This impacts the youth of Australia as they re often very trusting and believe no one that they shared their password with would ever do that to them. 

• Statistics are shown onscreen of hacking reports. Voice over: But the reality is harsh and can often lead to serious distress in teens as they sit back and watch how easily their reputations can be ruined by a simple hack. Facebook accounts are hacked 600 000 times a day which means that 0.6% of all log ons to Facebook are for hacking purposes.” 

• Shot of a phone getting messages like I cant believe you posted that!?, What are you doing on Facebook!? Voice over: “And although it is not hard to change your password usually by the time you notice the damage has already been done.”

• Abby is walking through school lockers. “Hannah Buckley was just a young 16 year old girl who was confidant and happy with her life-“

• Shot of Facebook onscreen which shows someone who is unable to be able to log into their account. “When she logged into Facebook one August day and found that she could not access her account. Her password was changed.”

• Abby walks through the lockers Abby: “She found that the hacker had added hundreds of male strangers on her account and had posted many statuses and horrific things on her wall.”

• A phone is sitting on a desktop and is being filled with text messages like “whats going on?” “Why would you send this to me?’ “Is this you?” “The hacker also sent horrible messages to her friends and family. 

• Abby walks through the locker areas again “Hannah was afraid to leave the house after that. her former fiends abused her not believing she had been hacked and hannah became suicidal and had to be placed on suicide watch.”

• Facebook on a screen comes into view. Someone is scrolling through it. Voice over: “It is clear to see the impact this hacking has on youth or Australia is severe, firstly they are in danger of being hacked and secondly being hacked can cause stress and feelings that could drive them towards feeling suicidal or even committing suicide.”

• Abby walks through the lockers. Abby: “On top of this it is exceptionally easy to hack a Facebook without knowing a password. Now that is really scary.” Abby walks out of the frame. 

• Screen of google appears on screen. Abby types into it: How to hack a Facebook. Voiceover: “And the scary thing is there are thousands of resources online that give you step by step instructions to hack a Facebook.” The hypothetical Facebook profile is re opened on the screen. Voice over: “So since I have access to this persons password All I would have to do is log out.” The mouse on Facebook clicks the log out button. Voice over: “Then enter the persons email into the log in.” The email is entered into the log in. Voiceover: “Now all I have to select is forgot password.” The mouse clicks forgot password is this your account comes up on screen. “Now select this is my account.  But since we do not have access to their emails I have to press No longer have access to these.” The mouse clicks the no longer have access to these button. The computer asks how can we reach you. “So its now asked me how Facebook can reach me. I type in my own email and it will send me a new password.” A new email is typed in. A email window is opened. It shows a link to reset the password this is followed and the password is reset. 

• Abby is sitting down at her computer. She looks up at the Camera. Abby: “And now I have successfully hacked the account. 

• Computer screen with a mouse scrolling through Facebook while statistics appear comes onto the screen. “Facebook is a big place and an even bigger danger if you don't protect yourself. Please try to take the correct precautions when using it so you don't end up as another number in the Australian youth who has been apart of-“

• Facebook danger appears on the screen. Voice over: “Facebook danger.”